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| Expensive imports or street purchase? |
The Super Bowl is over, and we've gotten to see exactly how bad
advertisers want your business. Most of us can agree that one of
the best aspects of watching the Super Bowl is getting to see all of
the ads get "premiered".
My favorite was the Volkswagen ad where the guy is driving to the
wedding. I also liked the Budweiser ad with the dog who turned into
an alien and said, "Whassssup."
Take this week's poll to vote on your favorite ad.
But enough about that. Now it's time to see how internationally
savvy you are. The first two readers to guess the price of my
sunglasses, IN ITALIAN LIRE, get a free T-shirt.
Also, check out this audio clip...It's loosely based on a scene
from a screenplay that me and one of my buddies wrote.
By the way, I have no problem recommending you to
check out our sponsor this week. In fact, I think you should (When you're
done reading, of course).
Thanks for reading.
Send me an Email
Peace,
Tim
Mars
Editor, UncensoredU.
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I thought it would be a good idea to make a list of things that you
can do and get away with using "Hey, we came from monkeys anyway" as
an excuse.
10. Rub one out in the bathroom of your office building.
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| "And that's when Clint Eastwood called me up to do a movie." |
9. Smell girls when you meet them, specifically their rump.
8. When someone is frustrating you, pick up the nearest blunt
object and throw it at them.
7. In the middle of some important meeting, begin to scream at
the top of your lungs, if you're hungry.
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| "Here we go again." |
6. Walk around barefoot, arbitrarily picking things up with your
toes.
5. Leave the toilet seat up.
4. Pee all over the seat if it's left down, forcing everyone to
leave it up.
3. Bang on your chest when you succeed in any task, big or small.
2. When on a date, hold your plate to your mouth and eat your food
directly quickly, without touching it with your hands. Then
when you finish, grab your date's plate and slap her hand, hard,
if she tries to interfere.
1. Insist on doing it "doggy style" so that you can pick the
nits out of her hair at the same time.
Submit Stories to: tim@UncensoredU.com
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The candles get lit in the bathroom while you let the hot bubbles
relax you and your lover.
You're in the ocean at a crowded beach paying no mind to other people
swimming.
Good sex. Accept no substitute.
We're going to make a page of the best stories of "sex in
interesting places". If you have any stories, send them to us.
But remember, this isn't a porn site, so we're not gonna publish it
if it's really nasty, so use your best judgement.
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A good percentage of UncensoredU readers are from the beautiful land
of Australia. So to pay homage to all of the "nuts from Oz", here
are a few stereotypes that they would like to dispel.
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| "Throw another shrimp on the barbie, mate! My joey just lost my boomerang in the outback! G'day! That's not a knife!" | 1. Paul Hogan is not considered to be a great actor.
2. No, everyone does NOT go around picking up snakes like the
obnoxious "Crocodile Hunter".
3. All the music doesn't sound like Midnight Oil.
4. Beer is NOT pronounced "Fosters" in Australia.
5. Not all of the insects there can kill you. Just the poisonous
ones.
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11. Flat Cat on a Hot Black-Top
10. Rats
9. Nebraska
8. The Phantom of the Soap Opera
7. Bacon Grease
6. Bleeding in the Rain
5. Pimpin
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| "You need to step back, whitey." |
4. Jesus Christ Porn Star
3. Joseph and the Amazing Technicolored Shoe Up His Ass
2. Michael Jackson's LITTLE Shop of Boys
1. The Sound of Muzak
By Tim Mars
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Feedback
Drop us a line, we'll drop our pants.
eMail Tim |
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Send to a friend
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