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| Tim takes a break from finding new material. |
It seems like everyday there's a new little acronym to learn in
the cyberworld. Everyone knows the basic ones, like LOL (laugh
out loud), or BRB (Be Right Back).
But once in a while you get those random ones. Like that person
that leaves IHPOYM (I Have Pictures Of You Masturbating).
Or BRBIHTPMHWASM (Be Right Back, I Have To Pound My Head With A
Steel Mallet).
Or sometimes you get the wacko that leaves ILDSE (I Laughed During
Sex Ed.).
Who thinks of this stuff?
Thanks for reading.
Send me an Email
Peace,
Tim
Mars
Editor, UncensoredU.
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If you're still in school at all, even graduate school, here's a
couple of funny things to say to your professor to get a chuckle.
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| Did you ever notice that Uranus is blue? |
"At least show me a picture of Uranus (pronounce it 'Your
anus'). I don't need to get behind the telescope or nothing."
(This joke is most effective in an English class.) "Can you talk softer? I'm trying to sleep." "If we all do REAL GOOD on the final, would it be out of the
question to ask if we could play 'Spin the Bottle'?" "You know, I wanted to take this class to become a better student,
and further myself as an intellectual. I'm gonna drop it, is
that cool?" "Would you pass me if I had big breasts, or I could shoot a
basketball? 'Cuz we can do something about that." "Can I go potty?"
Submit Stories to: tim@UncensoredU.com
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There's something about the Cyberworld that I find very interesting.
It's the degree to which people will suspend their usual inhibitions
and self-disclose to a total stranger. I myself do this all the
time. I'll get to talking to someone via instant message, and
before too long, I know a great deal about the person...and they
know a great deal about me.
Perhaps it's because the consequence of such discussions seem so
far away. Or perhaps it's because, without having the "distraction"
of actually verbalizing things, people feel more comfortable opening
up.
Or perhaps still, the Digital Revolution has created a new breed
of people, with a different set of values.
The Internet has proven to be a platform for a variety of resources,
from Christian Coalition to child porn sites. It is possible, for
this reason, that the Net surfer, and their communication practices
have been altered.
Perhaps the Internet is the great desensitizer.
Let me know what you think.
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Next time you want to go out and get rowdy with your friends, but
you feel bad because you've been partying too much, here's a few
rationalizations you can use to rid yourself of the guilt.
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| Never let it go to waste. |
"Well if I don't drink up this tequila, it's just going to sit
here, and I just can't let myself let a good bottle of booze
just SIT there." "There are plenty more nights for me to sit and be bored off
my ass." "At least beer is fat-free." "I smoke a lot when I drink. And I haven't smoked enough
today." "Hey, they say a glass of wine once a day is good for your
blood pressure. At this rate, I'm gonna be the healthiest
man alive!" "What else am I supposed to tell my wife I spent my money on?
Porn?"
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I'm no revolutionary, but sometimes I think back to my past history
classes, and I start to wonder who's in charge of the writing and
selecting of books and curriculum.
America, and just about every country, paints a biased portrait
of history. For example: The Boston Tea Party. Most people will
agree that textbooks portrayed this as a great time in American
history, when the struggling colonies, desperately seeking
independence, resorted to drastic measures for freedom.
However, if you learned about groups such as the Black Panthers
(which, if you did, the textbook probably just made a quick
reference to it) they were portrayed as a dangerous hate group,
threatening national security during a pivotal time in history.
My only problem is...the two groups of people weren't really that
different. They were both concerned with the advancement of
their people. They were both willing to resort to violent measures,
if necessary. They were both seeking liberation from the
oppressive majority.
Only difference is: The Black Panthers were a bunch of BLACK people
with guns.
See, the public school system would like you to believe that when
white people revolt for freedom, it's liberation. When black
people do it, it's a riot.
Sadly enough, it's hard to convince people.
By Tim Mars
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