 |
 |
|
|
| |
|
 |
Have you ever wondered how to bong a beer without nearly gagging to
death?
Have you ever wondered what excuses work the best for skipping class?
Answers to questions such as these are vital
to the success of any aspiring college student.
After all, college isn't necessarily about books
and teachers. It's not necessarily about partying
and sex (I might need to re-think that statement,
actually). College is about you, and this is
your chance to be uncensored. So if you have
any funny college stories about parties or screwy
professors, or if you're mad because you can't
find a parking space, let me know.
Send
me an Email
Peace,
Tim
Mars
Editor, UncensoredU.
|
|
 |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
| |
|
 |
So, for our first installment of college tips,
here's a list of cool ways to stay awake in
class, even if you went out and got shit-faced
the night before.
Stare intensely at the
girl sitting next to you and mouth the words,
"I'm normal."
Raise your hand every couple
of minutes and ask the teacher if he's done
yet.
Put your head in the window and slam
it good a couple of times (The chicks really
dig this one).
Wear underwear that is entirely
too small.
Try to get the rest of the class
to do "the wave".
Draw detailed maps of the
classroom and quietly pass them out to the students,
calling it "The Escape Route".
Laugh at inappropriate
times during the lecture, then compliment the
teacher on their great sense of humor.
Throw
a flask of liquor in your backpack.
Keep
chanting, "lies," under your breath while the
teacher gives the lecture.
Go to class naked.
Submit Stories to: tim@uncensoredu.com
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
 |
ROME IS THE "PLACE TO BE" FOR NEW YEARS
If you haven't thought about what you're doing for New Year's, think
about Rome. Why? That's where I'm going to be, and I hit the trees
harder than Sonny Bono (If you know what I mean.)
Stay tuned for full, daily coverage of Rome and other parts of Italy
during the coming New Year Holiday on RadicalComedy.com
Spring
Break 2001
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
  |
|
Yeah. This whole stoned thing is pretty cool.
I love the moments when we have a second to listen
to music together. But sometimes things just aren't
the same.
Like when I get the "phone call." The phone call.
It can be anything from a call reminding me of
a wedding or a funeral I forgot about, to a call
from a college professor asking me if a plagiarized
my entire research paper.
You know the call.
Or the "awkward situation." Like running into
an "ex" while talking to an "ex."
Or walking into a classroom with...well...that
smell it brings me.
Then there's the "odd public place." You know,
the server at a restaurant that thinks he's Don
Rickles. Or a cop that's riding my ass.
A grocery attendant that has to do the price
check on the box of rubbers...that I probably
WON'T get to use because I'm too baked.
But the good times are coming back. I can feel
it.
Sincerely,
Paranoid.
|
|
 |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
