1. Frat guy: "I was having sex with your TA."

2. Over-Achiever: "I didn't want to throw off the curve too much."

3. Odd kid who sits in the back row: "I was playing with Petey (then wink and walk away)."

4. Stoner: "I was trying to cross the street, but this sign kept telling me to ‘stop’."

5. Jock: "I was...what was the question?"

6. Kid who smells funny: "I was suffering from dysentery."

7. Weird chick: "I was trying to find myself."

8. Girl with fishnets: "My head got stuck between the steering wheel and the driver’s seat."

9. Nerdy guy: "I got caught up reading the textbook so much I lost track of time."

10. Gothic guy: "I couldn’t unlock the chains around my ankles."

Submit Stories to: tim@uncensoredu.com

I really enjoy casual sex. It’s not because I’m some kind of player or mack- daddy or anything, it’s just because I enjoy the sex that happens when two people don’t know each other that well.

You go for broke. You try positions that you normally wouldn’t. You use techniques that you’ve seen in movies. You make odd noises.

Regardless, you assume a role that you create for yourself as you go.

This is not something that only males agree with either, because this editorial wouldn’t be possible if it weren’t for women that felt the same way.

Sex is great. It’s a beautiful part of life. In fact, it’s the most beautiful part of life. And when two people are in love and they make love together, that’s wonderful.

But there’s a difference between making love and grinding like wild animals in an Arby’s bathroom.

There’s something about a one-night-stand that both parties involved don’t want to admit, and that’s that they had a great time. Some (very few) wake-up and regret the night before. Most, however, wake-up and think, "Damn that was fun. I just won’t tell too many people. I could go for some pound cake."

Lighten-up everyone. Sex is good. If you’re smart and you protect yourself (remember to do this even if you’re really drunk) it’s relatively worry-free.

So relax. Turn off your computer. Get out the Barry White and the champagne and find someone for the night.

Your pal,
Tim

1. You're waking up with girls that a horny, old homeless man wouldn't hook up with.

2. You wake up and say, "Well, beer really does complement the taste of eggs and bacon."

3. You got an hour until class and you’re thinking, "I was pretty hammered when I studied for this test soooo..."

4. Not only are you waking up with your shoes, shirt and pants still on; but you're in the fireplace.

5. You're checking the vanilla extract for alcohol content.