Are you in a Greek organization on campus? Drop us a line and tell us some of the cool stuff that you might be doing (like cool concerts and parties).

We'll print the most interesting ones we receive. Or, send us a funny story about your fraternity or sorority. But remember, make it cool. We don't want any lame shit.

Send to:FREAKYGREEK

Have you ever been sitting in class, really trying to pay attention, but you just CAN'T? Here's some fun things to do if this ever happens...

1. Pick one spot in the room, away from the teacher, and stare intensely at it throughout the entire class period.
2. Sit on your head in the chair.
3. Continue to ask questions addressing the teacher as "Boo Boo."
4. Insist to the teacher that ending a sentence with a preposition is OK, even if it's not an English class you're in.
5. Wear velcro shoes to class and repeatedly make "strapping noises" from the back.
6. Write "YOU DIE" on your forehead and stare intensely at the teacher.
7. Wear a ski-mask into class, dress in camoflauge, bring no books or folders, and stand tall, facing the corner, breathing heavily.
8. Hop out one of the windows and yell to the rest of the class, "I'm FREE!"
9. Turn to the person next to you and loudly ask, "What the Hell is he talking about?"
10. Make a list of "Funny Things to do in Class Instead of Pay Attention."

Why do girls feel the need to wear shirts that have their breasts hanging out of them, but then get mad when guys look at their cleavage. Of course I'm going to look. As a matter of fact, it's pretty hard to sustain eye contact with a half-naked woman.

Let's say I walked into a bar with really short-shorts, and one of my nads was hanging out of the leg. It would be pretty hard not to notice that. You'd try to have a serious conversation with me, but let's face it, one of the twins would be showing.

Of course I would do everything in my power to get you to look down, like placing one of the bad boys on the table. But that's besides the point.

So women, if you're going to show-off your cleavage to the world, great. Thanks. Just don't get mad when horny men can't take their eyes off you.

Spring Break 2001

Girls are like cars. When you first start driving, you're not too picky what kind of car you get, you just know you want to drive. You could be riding a damn golf cart, it doesn't matter...you're still driving. It's really more to show your friends that you're no longer just walking, but that you have something TO drive. As you get a little more experience behind the wheel though, you become more choosy because you see the vast array of beautiful...cars.

The Foreign Car
These are really efficient, and usually pretty reliable. Also, they have a look that's different from American cars, and they're fun to drive because they make funny noises when you put them in reverse.

The Sports Car
Only rich guys can afford these because they have to pour a lot of money into maintenance. They go fast and look great though, and it's fun to go out with them because it makes you look really cool.

The Motor Cycle
These are a lot of fun to drive, but you're taking a big risk. You don't want to do it if you're too drunk, wear a lot of protection, and don't make too much of a habit out of it.

The Motor Home
These are pretty big and hold a lot of baggage, and they have their own kitchen (which is nice.) They're good if you're intending to be in one for a while.

The Big American Gas Guzzler
They're fun to take into the back country, and all of the good ol' boys think you're cool. They're pretty loud when you drive them. If your're into that sort of thing.

The "Beater"
These are a little older, and you're definitely not going to be the first owner. They're still fun to drive though, because it really doesn't matter what you do to it, and they're always fun to crack jokes about.

If there are any women out there with analogies for men, send them to tim@uncensoredu.com