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As I was sending instant messages (instead of working) to the designer of this page, he told me a story about a friend of his that had two ex-girlfriends become lesbians after they broke-up. He said it was the guy's own fault claiming, "Never date

Fisheaters unite.

a girl that's obsessed with Ani Difranco." I started thinking about it...and damn, I don't think I would want to have that happen to me.

Break-ups can be really depressing, especially when your significant other leaves you for someone else. But if you scare them away from your entire gender of people...that's gotta hurt.

If that's happened to you, man I'd hate to be in your shoes. I mean, I'm not some homophobic bigot or anything, I just think that having that situation happen just can't be something that helps your self-concept. I'd be thinking, "Damn, was the sex that bad?"

But then again, you've got to notice this stuff before it happens. So beware if you're dating a girl that listens to Ani Difranco 24-7.

Submit Stories to: tim@UncensoredU.com

Here's some funny things to do around the office to annoy the living piss out of your co-workers.

"Put it in a savings account, chump."

1) Walk around with rubber gloves stressing the importance of office safety (Which I did all day Friday), and tell people to wear rubber gloves at their computer so they won't get a "computer virus."

2) Bring in plants and put them on your desk, and talk to them constantly.

3) Insist that everyone refer to you as "Lord" and become extremely agitated when they don't.

4) Play rap music real loud (the corporate types love this).

5) Every time your computer makes a noise letting you know you have email get scared and hide under your desk.

I just wanted to let you know.

Next time you're waiting in line at an ATM, realize that you have an unsuspecting audience that is just waiting to be entertained.

Even Robert Downey Jr.'s dealers only take cash.

First go up and put your card in and it prompts something like, "Please enter your PIN number." Turn around and loudly say, "You guys look I can trust you, my number is 4323, just in case I forget. Did you get that?"

Then go about the next couple of functions while repeatedly saying things like, "This is great!" or "I can't believe they just give you money for nothing!"

Then it finally gets to the point where it says, "Please take your cash." Turn around to the people (who, at this point will LOVE you) and say, "Heck yeah! I'll take my cash, are you kidding? Score for me! Badabing!"

Believe me, it's fun.

Have you ever met the selective pot smoker who will only smoke out of a glass pipe...they only smoke the real expensive shit....they won't smoke press, and they make fun of you if you do?

If you have a friend like this...hang on to them, they're a good friend to have. Come to think of it, if you're wanting to be more like these people, check out Jerome Baker's site. It's cool, and this is not an advertisement, just a recommendation.