One thing that I don't miss about the States is the whole Greek- controlled college bar scenario. If you live in a college town, you know what I'm talking about. It's the two-for-one drink nights where all the sorority and fraternity people crowd into a place and stand shoulder-to-shoulder.

Now I don't have anything against the whole "Greek Scene." Really I don't. Just because a fraternity isn't something I would join, does not give me the right to cast judgment.

I just hate going to some crowded bar, and then being eye-balled because I'm not decked-out in Abercrombie gear. I also don't like having to say, "No, I'm not really in any fraternal organization, I'm just kind of here."

I guess I'll just stay clear of those bars. I feel better now.

Submit Stories to: Tim@UncensoredU.com

Ahh, the beach. The serene sounds of seagulls competing playfully for their dinner. The cresting waves collapsing on the shore, like a symphony for your ears. The children with beach balls and pails feverishly trying to outdo their peers for the best sand castle.

And women, with almost no clothes on.

I'd say people -- men and women -- would agree that one of the most exciting aspects of the coast of any continent is people's collective willingness to wear clothing that, in some situations, would be absurd.

This young lady fell asleep in a tanning bed.

The sight of the beautiful women is music to our eyes. The only problem is that sometimes when a girl is walking toward you on the beach, and you see her from afar, she looks beautiful. But as she gets closer, you realize that she looks like someone doing a bad impression of Don Rickles.

These women have become known as "scuds". Similar to the Scud Missile, these women cause explosions when you get close to them.

Have no fear however, for there are plenty of sensuous women on the beach to feast your eyes upon. But beware of the "scud', especially if liquor is involved.

When you're in your early twenties, it's often hard to notice the women at the bar who are a little older than you. It's natural. You spend most of your time gawking at women that are younger or closer to your age. This is not a good habit though. It's best to see the other fish swimming around.

Who'll be the lucky guy to get in those polyester pants tonight?

Women in their thirties are much more up-front with what they want from the situation. If it is just sex, generally they're pretty open with that. Also, they have more experience with sex, so they know exactly what they like and don't like.

Younger women are nice too, but a woman with a little experience can teach you a thing or two. And there's a lot less bullshit. There's not as much game playing because they've gotten over that stage. (Now I'm generalizing, but it holds pretty true).

Most importantly though, women in their thirties still look good. So I recommend that, the next time you're out, check out some of the thirty-something babes. You'll be glad you did.

I have nothing against Christians, even though I'm not one. I have nothing against gay people, even though I'm not one. But what I do have something against is Fundamentalist Bible wavers that have to make other people's lives miserable.

You don't see atheists standing out front of shopping malls during Christmas-time waving signs about consumerism.

This is your religion on bigotry. (picture courtesy of fivecomix)

I put this in here to warn you of the dangers that The Bible can bring to other people's safety.

There is a web site (and I will not give the URL for fear of stimulating traffic to their site), that has a "memorial" for a boy who died named Matthew Shepard. On this memorial they have a picture of the boy's face engulfed in flames. Shepard was beaten severely, strapped to a tree and left to die because he was gay.

Here are some of the "cute" things that this site contains.
"Matthew Shepard has been in hell for 799 days."
"Eternity - 799 days = Eternity"
They also have a section titled "Matthew Shepard's Message From Hell"

If these people are righteous people, then I don't want to be righteous. Just imagine Mathew's parents....

If you would like to voice your criticism of these bigots, send your mail to:

ghf-abuse@godhatesfags.com

(954) 337-0400 (phone)